This week sucks. Completely, utterly. Work has been overwhelming and no matter how much I get done, there's always someone who I forgot to email, some blog I forgot to post, or an editing mistake that I didn't see.
I had a long doctor's appointment on Monday and tomorrow I have to go give blood work. I have a head cold. Which is going to make flying to chicago this weekend kind of miserable. I'm going to the funeral for one of my best friend's mom who died of cancer this Monday.
It's been so heavy on my heart. I feel like the closer you grow in your relationship to God the more pain you experience. I trust Him to take care of my heart, and my loved ones. When something so painful happens, though I trust Him, I can't help but be a little taken aback by it.
"I thought you were taking care of me?" I say.
I know the reality of it is that "taking care of me" means testing me, pushing me, strengthening me, etc.
But underneath my 23 year old self, I'm 10, and I'm 5, and I'm a 3 year old. And the kid in me pounds on the chest of God the Father saying, "why? why? why?"
What does a mature faith do, trying to be childlike and trusting and authentic?
This is a big question, I'm not looking for an answer.
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