Being an adult means...

Let me preface by saying I swear this is not meant to be angst-y! These really are just my honest thoughts this morning about life currently and a couple of things adulthood means. I'm quite content and peaceful right now - which is rather miraculous considering the crap-load of dishes awaiting me.

Being an adult means:

• Cleaning up your own messes - like the dishes . . . or poor life choices
• Needing coffee to face the day
• When you cook for men, you should always make more than you think they would reasonably eat 
• You've learned a lot of life lessons, but you accept you'll never be bulletproof 
• Days off are reason for great rejoicing
• Pay day shopping and expensive haircuts

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Saturday the Nineteenth

Stopped to take this picture on my run. Jealous?

Today I got about 5.5 productive things done:

1. Made $40 donating plasma
2. Went grocery shopping
3. Put soap in the dishwasher and ran it (this is the .5 since technically I had loaded it the night before)
4. Lifted an incredibly heavy couch over the countertop and carried it into another room
5. Ran a mere, quick 1.5 miles
6. Thought about the things on my heart, chocolate, and my need for a gym membership

And then in between all those things I'd stop and sit/lay on the couch because of the sheer effort exerted and the overwhelming toll each activity took on me. What a day. Do you think I'm overworked?

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Forget Me Not

Forget Me Not

A watercolor painting I made for my mom for Mother's Day. It's funny because I sat down and ripped a large piece of paper in quarters to do a practice painting on . . . and then I liked it so much I wanted it to be the real thing, not the practice! (hence the ripped edges)Pin It

What is Faith?

"Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods." - C.S. Lewis

Today I woke up at 9:15. I'm expected to be at work at 9, and I usually go to 8:30 Mass - so clearly my whole morning schedule was shot. At least I was super refreshed after sleeping in an extra 2 hours. 


You know that moment when you wake up so happy, content, and peaceful . . . I love that. And then you remember something that's heavy on your heart, or that you're already late for work . . . and that's the last second of sheer bliss you get until you wake up the next day. 


So that was a tangent that didn't really have a point.


Isn't that quote pretty awesome? I think C.S. Lewis was talking about women. I believe that quote defines really well what mature faith is - to continue to believe what is true when your emotions don't confirm it, or when they rebel against it. It's saying, "Okay God, I choose to trust you" when everything appears to be shot to hell.

Or when the chocolate is gone.Pin It

Needles in my Face

So today I had five needles in my face and two in my hands.

Yeah, I didn't see it coming either. I had another check up today at my doctor's. I went to bed with a headache last night and woke up with it as well. So as I'm sitting in the patient room the student doctor returned at one point and said, "We don't want you to be in pain while you're here so let's throw some needles in you."

Um, what? Throw needles in me? Call me crazy but that sounds like more pain to me, not less.

But she meant acupuncture, which I was still scared of. It wasn't bad at all though! And it helped! I can't get over the fact that I had seven needles in me voluntarily.

As I was lying there, so relaxed, I didn't want to leave. I know this sounds a bit psychotic, but I love being at my doctor's. I realized it's because in all the things I do, and all the people I encountered, they're different. All they (the students at SCNM and my doctor) want is to take care of me.

I don't have to worry about disappointing them . . .

Or doing things wrong, or right . . . They don't expect things from me . . .

It's like I walk in the doctor's room and I get to be the trusting child while my doting parents say, "We're going to fix it all."

Would you want to leave when it feels like that?Pin It

Non-lunch conversation

I want to either love or hate something. I don't want to be confused; it's so much harder when you don't really know or understand your own feelings about something.

To stand around and just wonder isn't nearly as fun as feeling something passionately.

Do you ever feel that way? Conflicted about your own feelings? Do you then chose which way you want to feel? Is that authentic? Do you pick a completely new feeling instead of the two, or do you rationalize into feeling neutral?

These aren't the kind of things we talk about over lunch or coffee...Pin It

If God Can Make Ryan Gosling...

God made Ryan Gosling so I'm pretty sure He can do anything. 

Actually I know it, because besides the wonder of the beauty of Ry-guy here, God also provides the coolest things for our needs. 

Examplarae: 

We've been having a lot of people over to our house every other Friday but we never really have enough seating either at the kitchen table, or in the living room. So! God's like - "Well you should totes still foster good friendships and community, so I'll take care of the technicalities." 

And then one of my roommate's student's parents give us a HUGE wrap around sectional couch, and a gorgeous long kitchen table. 

Amazing. Trying to figure out how to convince God I'd like my Ryan Gosling equivalent pretty soon. He said He's got it under control. 

I'm going to choose to believe Him - He can do anything. (See first sentence.)

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Childhood Painting

This is a painting I did over Easter break. I always think about things a lot, and I want my paintings to be meaningful. So this one I really love because it's a representation of how childhood is never really lost. I hope you can tell that the sweater, and purse, and scarf are an adult's items. The rocker though is a child's. 

The closet is ajar because I wanted to convey the idea that childhood is within and you can still go to that place inside yourself and experience the joy, peace, and abandonment of being a little kid. 

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I Caught Spring

This is what spring means . . . clouds, and fruit, and flowers, and colors. And I love every minute of it all.

Plum Island, MA

My welcome at the Liguori's home

Saw this out in the backyard one morning, so I waited 10 minutes for the light to fall on it. I love this photo!

Totally yours Mary.....

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An Allergic Rant

Alright, I am so over applesauce. And tortilla chips, rice, and beans. All I want to enjoy is the sweet taste of cheese, or a milkshake. I would give all my phelanges for a brownie.

Okay, maybe an exaggeration . . . or maybe not.

It's just that what everyone else is eating looks SO much better than the rabbit food I get the pleasure of enjoying.

And can we just talk about eggs for a minute - the fact that they are in everything. Why do I even waste time and emotions looking at recipes? Why even log in to Pinterest? It's just torture. Maybe this despair is partly due to Friday's in Lent have been so, so, so hard. That, plus this 5 week month has sucked all my money in March's budget so my refrigerator is empty.

Well I mean . . . there's applesauce and a drawer full of tart, unedible clementines. And bbq sauce I can't have.

Tomorrow and an imminent grocery shopping trip will help cure all these troubles - I'm sure of it. Hurry Saturday, come fast.Pin It

Jesus, Lazarus, and Me

Do you want to be blow away in awe and amazement? Read this quote: 

"Jesus is your friend. The Friend. With a human heart, like yours. With loving eyes that wept for Lazarus. And he loves you as much as he loved Lazarus."

I love that so much. Today's gospel was when Jesus raises Lazarus and the priest talked about how much Jesus loves us and weeps when we weep, and feels the sorrow of our hearts even more than we do. I was reminded of this quote from St. Josemaria Escriva.

When I think of Jesus and Lazarus, I think of best friends. That's where Jesus went to hang out, relax, recharge. They were buds. And to think that He loves you and I just as much. Desires to spend just as much time with us. Desires to weep with us. Isn't that amazing?

I think so.

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The wonder of chickpeas

Would you believe this dip is made mainly with chickpeas? You'd think it'd be loaded with cream cheese, maybe some flour. But no! Chickpeas have saved the day this past week. I had no idea they were so versatile.

It's been a couple weeks since finding out about my allergies and while fruits and vegetables are wonderful, I started to struggle with not having much variety, flavor, and honestly - fun in the foods I was eating. One of the worst tragedies was that I couldn't find a salad dressing I could have. Trader Joe's has a hummus salad dressing though and it's amazing! It's creamy because of the chickpeas but has lots of flavor like ranch.  

Of course spicy hummus is a favorite as well, which I eat with carrots as a snack. I also found a recipe for sweet and salty roasted chickpeas. 

You know what would be terrible? If it turns out I was one of those people who couldn't overload on certain foods or else I'd form an allergy to those. Ugh, then chickpeas and corn products would definitely be out. However - I thought this was sort of the end of the world too and it's totally not. 

I'm feeling SO GOOD! Thanks to chickpeas, I can still love this new diet. 

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