If I believed in fate

Saguaro Lake, AZ

If I believed in fate, I'd say it's finally caught up to me to push me down. But I believe in God and His plan to make me a saint through the way of the cross.

There's a big difference.



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When I cried because of the kind driver

Yesterday I was driving home late at night and I guess I didn't turn the knob for my lights on all the way. I only turned it halfway - which is stupid engineering anyway, it should just be on/off. 

So I'm driving down the road and someone flashes their lights at me . . . but was it at me? It couldn't be because my lights are on - my dash board is lit up. Silly car . . . flashing their lights pointlessly and confusing me.

I get onto the thruway on ramp and it goes from two lanes to one but the guy next to me is being stupid and won't speed up so I glance over at him and he makes a hand gesture at me as I speed up to get in front of him.

"Great, he's pissed cause I went ahead of him," I think. "Whatever I'll go fast and get away from him." 

And then this fear starts building up in me because this man in his fancy black car won't speed up or fall behind me, he's staying right next to me. My imagination is way too vivid so I'm pretty sure I'm about to get in an accident because this drunk and furious man has decided I'm a threat to him. 

"Just be calm and don't look over. Don't turn your head." 

Finally he honks his horn and I'm forced to look over. My life didn't flash before my eyes - but it should have - brain mis-function. 

He points to the front of my car, and indignantly I'm leaning forward trying to see what I'm missing. Am I dragging an animal? No . . . it's just that my lights aren't on. And now I'm swerving into this not angry just really nice man's lane. 

The tears commenced almost immediately. I can laugh about it now but it was such a flood of every emotion. Not to mention is was late and I had had a rough day. First the fear, then the thankfulness, then feeling bad for judging that man, and then feeling stupid for not having my lights on. 

It was just a lot for one friday night. 

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The Details

Love is in the details. It's in the little things you do for someone when you don't have to. God has been doing this for me and I can't help but be swept off my feet.

The other day instead of paying $13 for something I really needed I was able to get it for $3 because of a mislabeling mistake! And then there's all these roses outside my house and I just love them. He put them there for me.

It's the little details that prove to me I can trust Him with the big ones too.Pin It

You mean the world to me

No not you. This is a wall hanging I made for my sister and her husband! I bought new wood, stained and distressed it, then hand painted the words on.

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Guard My Life

Yesterday I lifeguarded a private pool party - something I haven't done in awhile. It reminded me of how much I love lifeguarding. I love connecting with the kids and affirming them on their swimming. I love knowing that everyone is safe because I'm in charge. 

I think most of all I like getting paid to people watch the most interesting group of people to observe and learn from - children. 

"Unless you change and become like little children you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

First, there's the kids who are scared of the water (how often do they bathe??) and have a lot of anxiety about getting in.

Then there are the good swimmers who are confident and often not very considerate of the weaker swimmers.

And then you have the kids who think they're better than they are. They're over-confidant and scare the crap out of me as a lifeguard.

All of them trust me though. It doesn't matter who I am, or if in the past I've been a successful lifeguard. They understand my rank and trust me. When does that change as an adult? And how do I get that back?

When I look at God, who's watching over my life and protecting me, I can't just trust Him based on His rank - the fact that He's GOD. As if that's not enough. How much more qualified can you get???

I only see the rules and the ways I think (cause I'm more qualified to make decisions about my life? yeah right) my life should go. I feel like I get an insight into how God looks at us when I'm lifeguarding. He sets rules to keep us safe. He lets us test our strength. When we're weak He's right there for us, He runs over and is extra-close-by, just in case. When we reach out our hand for help, He's there. He takes things away from us if it's not what's best for our welfare.

And ultimately, He won't let us drown, or sink in over our head.


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Catholics and Food

Chicken and waffles - don't diss it 'til you've tried it.

Catholics and food go together like Simon and Garfunkel . . . like fireworks and July 4th. Positively made for each other.

If anyone begs to differ - just give up. We're not puritans here with all that "The body is so not cool" nonsense. We're all about enjoying the good things in life (moderately...duh....and 3 waffles is total moderation).

The case is such: Humans are physical beings and we experience and encounter everything through our senses. God knows this. Hello, the sacraments. Water, oil, hands, words. (Grade school catechesis baby.)

He made everything in creation so therefore we can have an encounter with God through His creation - it's a part of Him just as much as one of my paintings is a part of my heart.

Wait, did I just say we can encounter God through goodness such as fried chicken and waffles? Yes. Yes, I did. G.K. agrees...

“In Catholicism, the pint, the pipe and the Cross can all fit together.” – GK Chesterton

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Hotty Frassati

“We who, by the grace of God, are Catholics, must not squander the best years of our lives as so many unhappy young people do, who worry about enjoying the good things in life, things that do not in fact bring any good, but rather the fruit of immorality in today’s world. We must prepare ourselves to be ready and able to handle the struggles we will have to endure to fulfill our goals, and, in so doing, to give our country happier and morally healthier days in the near future.  

But in order for this to happen we need the following: constant prayer to obtain God’s grace, without which all our efforts are in vain; organization and discipline to be ready for action at the right moment; and finally, we need to sacrifice our own passions, indeed our very selves, because without this sacrifice we will never achieve our goal.”
— Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati

Happy feast of Blessed Pier! I can't get over how amazing and perfect this quote is. I'm constantly re-examining my life and asking, where can I improve? Where do I need more discipline? How can I improve my prayer life? Where and how can I sacrifice my desires?

I don't ever want to be complacent. I went away on vacation these past four days. The last couple weeks have been really rough for a couple reasons and I needed something to help me but I wasn't sure what. God knew, and he loved me so abundantly through nature.

There are times in your life when you've made it around another lap of the track and you're at the starting point again and can choose how you want to run the next lap. That's where I'm at right now, and tomorrow the guns goes off.


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Oh revenge

Remind me to never, ever, ever have dairy again. Oh, I don't know why I ever thought it would be a good idea. On sunday there was cake batter ice cream from coldstone, I just loooove cake batter and my week had been crappy so I totally deserved it right?

Once I started that snowball it was so hard to stop. Things got worse. The next day we had an impromptu ice cream social. How could I not participate? It was someone's birthday! So again, I had ice cream, this time with whip cream too. Oh the horror.

But no, wait, it gets worse. Monday night, while torturing myself watching The Bachelorette, my roommate made oatmeal cookies with a cream filling. Cream filling. I bet you didn't even know how much I love those cheap, little debbie, oatmeal cream pies!?! AND given I was depressed about the size of Emily the bachelorette's waist and the 6 hot men she gets to date all at once - yeah, you guessed it, I ate the cream filled cookies. Did you notice the plural?

My body has been itchy, cramping, achy, exhausted, gassy, and miserable. You know that stupid, frustrating saying, "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." (which is b.s. if you ask me - have you tasted cookies and cream milkshakes at chick-fil-a???) Well in my life, nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.

I give anyone complete freedom to slap me if I reach for dairy. Ever.Pin It

Sacred Heart of Jesus

Acrylic on cardboard: 2 hr Sunday morning project

"Behold this heart which has loved men so much that it has spared nothing, even to exhausting and consuming itself in order to testify to them its LOVE"

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Nice Things

• This song.
• This website.
• This story.
• This watch.
• These shoes. 

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Affection and Happiness

“Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid 

and durable happiness there is in our lives” 

C.S. Lewis

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The good and the bad

You are holy God. Here I am, all of me.

I can't see the computer screen very well right now; my eyes are blurry. I think I need to open new contacts.

I hate when this happens, it's weird. Weird like your foot waking up from being asleep. You know how it's supposed to work and feel, but it's not acting right.

I don't think your heart works that way. It's much more unpredictable. You can pretend that the way it's "supposed to work" is when it's happy/content, beloved, and giving love. In contrast, when it hurts would be when it's not working right... not acting right.

But that's silly. And impossible. As much as I hate it, being human means feeling all of it, the good and the bad - and never knowing which is around the corner.

I mean, of course there's the "wall around your heart" option.

There's also the "live in a cave" option.

And let's not forget the "just don't ever interact with people" lifestyle.

That's not what God wants though. He said to love, and live, and sacrifice, and give.

Okay, I'm done with that heart rant. Someone posted this prayer on Facebook right now - don't you love it?

‎"Watch, Dear Lord, with those who wake, or watch or weep tonight, and give Your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend Your sick ones, O Lord Christ. Rest Your weary ones. Bless Your dying ones. Soothe Your suffering ones. Pity Your afflicted ones. Shield Your joyous ones. And all for Your love's sake. Amen" - St. Augustine

Also, I have no idea what the password for my voicemail is.... and I have a voicemail I should have listened to days ago. I hope it's not important.... So obviously my life is in shambles. :) haha

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